Blue

i'm staring at our picture
for the millionth time
only now,
i realize that our outfit shared a same color
it was blue
at first
my mind kind of filled
with many happy thoughts
but then it's working properly,
again
it whispers:
it was as blue as you now

18:32,
isn't late enough to feel blue,
but i do

What's in My Pencil Case + Review + Tips

Hola halo hai! Kembali lagi ke pouring thoughts, yang kali ini akan pouring (literally) barang dari tempat pensil! HAHAHA.

Gue lagi kepengen aja nih ngeshare barang-barang di tempat pensil. Maklum, banyak yang baru dibeli dengan embel-embel ingin rajin belajar setelahnya. Alasan yang sebenarnya adalah gue stress sekolah dengan remedial yang tidak kunjung menemukan titik terang dan PR yang terus-terusan beranak-pinak. Kenalin program KB ke PR plis. Trims.

Keadaan alat tulisku (-) correction tape, lupa difoto ehe

THE REVIEW(S)

All Our Eyes Do

Recognizing mistakes is our eyes’ capability.
Aware of our own mistakes is also our capability.

But what if you just don’t want to admit it?
You don’t want to admit you’re making a mistake,
because you love the mistake.

Well, I’m aware of my mistakes.
And I also admit, that it is a mistake.
But I’m still doing it anyway.
And that’s crushing on you.

All your eyes do is to look at everything but me,
All my eyes do is not brave enough to look at you,
All our eyes do is to not look at each other.

All our eyes do— is what hurts me the most.

Pity Me, My Friend

Poor me
who always happifies herself
and gonna cry in the middle of the night
and thats only because of you
your goddamn self

Poor me
always reaching for you
the one that even I know
how unreachable you are
unbelievably unreachable

Poor me
I know how is this gonna end
yet I still do it all over again
so tonight I'll shed another tears then
for you're not gonna understand

23:01
sitting alone in my dark room thinking why am i holding onto something so simple yet complicated, so lovely yet heartbreaking

HONEST THOUGHTS ON THIRTEEN REASONS WHY (tv show)

HAI! Gue lagi, dan gue mau review sejujur-jujurnya tentang series baru-nya Netflix yang berjudul "Thirteen Reasons Why" yang diadaptasi dari novel yang berjudul sama, karya Jay Asher. Dan kayaknya mendingan langsung aja ya.

Jadi, gue tau TRW itu dari instagram. Biasa lah, akun spam kan bisa jadi akun fangirl juga yah, jadi ada satu akun yang ngepost trailernya TRW. Gue pikir, "wah apaan ini? Tv series? Keren kayaknya." Terus akhirnya gue cari deh di google, terus gataunya dari novel, terus gue mikir, "oh jadi novel yang pernah gue liat itu dibikin series!" Yuuup. Pernah liat doang. Ga bisa beli. HAHAH. :')

Nah terus akhirnya jadilah gue nungguin TRW keluar. Kayaknya gue taunya pas sekitar bulan Februari-an awal deh. Gue pasang reminder di hape kalo 1 April TRW keluar. 31 Maret, sebenernya. Tapi kan kalo dibanding sama US kitanya kecepetan sehari, jadi gue pikir mending pasangnya pas 1 April. Nah tapi pas tanggal 31 Maret nya, Jennifer Niven (author dari novel young-adult "All the Bright Places" dan "Holding Up the Universe) ((yang ATBP nya udah gue baca dan HUTU nya lagi gue baca)) (((yang ATBP nya bikin nangis mewek kejer gara-gara my baby Finch))) ngepost foto di Instagram kalo dia lagi di premiere-nya TRW. Terus gue mikir, "oh, temen satu publisher. mungkin ini premiere yang ditayangin buat orang-orang khusus dan ditayangin sehari sebelum tanggal rilis asli kali yak." (betapa bego) ((i know)) Terus pas tanggal 1 April-nya, gue iseng ngecek di website langganan gue kalo mau streaming. Kirain gak bakal ada, gak taunya! UDAH 13 EPISODES! That got me sh00k. Nah tapi gue rada lupa sih, kenapa tanggal 1 April nya gue gak langsung nonton. Gue baru nonton pas besoknya, mungkin karena 1 April gue nonton Pretty Little Liars kali ya? Gak tau deh, lupa. (kebanyakan nonton series) ((padahal gak banyak sih judul yang ditonton)) (((cuman kalo catch-up bisa gila-gilaan)))

Pas gue mulai nonton, gue sangat excited dan berujung ke pertanyaan, "yah, seru gak ya." Karena ada saatnya gue kayak jenuh gitu nontonnya, tapi tetep gue tonton juga. Akhirnya, gue berujung ke pernyataan, "one more episode", which is a TOTAL BULLSHIT, because you'll ended up watching more. That happened to me. To us.

SPOILER ALERT (udah diperingatin nih!)

The Morning After I Posted This I Won't Even Remember The Night Where I Wrote This

Hey, how are you doing? You know it still hurts remembering you and I are barely talking to each other. We've never been so close before but at least we had some good conversation back then. Remember that one time we had a music assignment and you asked me, "well, can't we ask the teacher? I'd love to play the keyboard with you, I'd help you." God, how I miss it so much.

Or when you randomly messaged me to let me know that you were outside my house? It meant nothing to you but trust me, it still means something to me. I am that weak.

And do you even remember that you'd like to visit me when I was in the hospital? Where were you? When the others were visiting me, where were you? But you know what? Hearing that you said that, I blushed and I couldn't even stop thinking about it.

They say high school love story is the sweetest of them all. I say, in what way? Mine is tragic as hell.

- 11:37 p.m